****DISCLAIMER**** 

Sensitive topic alert!

Never thought I’d see the day when I’d feel this way. When fitness and training, for general health and well-being as well as sports and competing,   becomes more of a chore and a struggle than an enjoyable act of self improvement. Because everyone knows…

However for the past month, I have awaken every morning bag packed headed to the gym with no pep in my step,  no passion, no excitement,  no joy! Like a cloud of despair and defeat looms over my head. I started to feel somewhat just FIT(ish) … going through the motions with no true desire to really be in the gym working out or home prepping meals and counting macros, etc. but all the while frustrated about my tendency for overeating (future blog post), the ever climbing numbers on the scale and the tightening of clothes that once fit just fine.

Part of it is sheer exhaustion and fatigue from the rigors of recent changes and transitions in my professional nursing career, that will eventually settle out once I get on a stable life-work schedule and routine. A second part of it is also sheer discomfort and pain, as a result of past injuries and musculoskeletal imbalances that nag my aging frame at now 35 years of age, that will also resolve with routine trips to therapy and adequate rest.

But lastly, a third part  to my lack of drive is more recent, and many will say its resolvable as well, as it simply requires mental toughness. But how easy is mental toughness and resilience when the very act of lifting weights and training, despite my recent decision to never return to the bodybuilding stage (details in a future post), these activities become a constant reminder of a poor decision made just a few short months ago, and the individual involved who hurt you and damaged your trust in them and consequently your ability to trust in general.

Emotional pain has a tendency to manifest itself in psychosomatic fashion, and the physical pain and fatigue experienced in the first two reasons mentioned for my lack of drive to workout and train could also be a result of the following scenario I’m about to share:
How do you find focus or enjoyment in your training when a lot of who you are, and how you train developed from the past trusted coach-athlete relationship you once had with the previously mentioned individual over three years ago. Despite no longer being in a coach-athlete relationship context with this person, and having developed a more personal relationship  in recent months, you find yourself in a situation of being betrayed to a point of no return.

So many levels of emotion and gray areas of confusion and emotion run through my mind daily since I learned the truth about this person. Not only as a Christian, professional career woman and an adult athlete, but also as a coach and trainer myself, it’s hard to grasp the complexity of the intentions this individual may have truly had from the beginning in the past during our coach-athlete relationship and based on the behaviors that occurred in the present during a more personal relationship with this individual. The blurred lines, the recent lies, and the mixed communication, etc. How do you catch all the warning signs without being blindsided?

It’s like everything you once thought you knew about a person is damaged eternally, because the trust you once had for them personally and professionally was a lie. Furthermore, the confidence you once had in yourself, your previous sport, your training and nutrition routine,  and even your own morals feels like it has died. You feel shame, guilt, defeat, doubt, depression, and simply a sense of lost control over how you manage yourself in relationships.

Currently, as a USATF Masters Athlete member of the board and association chair person for disabled youth track and field preparing for my officials credentials , I’m in the process of taking the U.S. SafeSport training. In watching and reading through the lessons in each of the training modules, all I can think about is how these same issues of safety, trust and respect, the dynamics of the coach-athlete relationship, consent, power imbalances, emotional, physical, and sexual misconduct, etc. that happens in youth sports, also happens to adult athletes as well, but in more subtle ways that rest in a gray area of “Oh you’re an adult, so you should know better” or “you knew what you were getting into”.

However, lies, manipulative intentions, and predatorial actions, despite asking the appropriate questions and no matter the age of the coach and/or athlete (whether present or former), are still unacceptable. Especially when one side of the situation has no remorse or sense of a need to at least be honest or apologize for misleading the other person.

In such cases, the athlete is essentially left to pick up the pieces of the sports activities they once enjoyed and learn to love themselves again, understand that they are not to blame themselves for what happen, regain a sense of control, and surround themselves with the people who truly have their best interest at heart.

In an effort to not go into any further details on this topic, I will close with this: What do you do when it’s not FUN anymore….? Forgive,  Forget, and Move Forward. Train harder and live well. Let your negative thoughts drive you to be your best, thinking about it won’t change what happened to you, but your actions and choices you make going forward can change you, and that is the only thing you can control. As my belief system puts it, God will deal with those who hurt you, it’s not your battle to fight! So be blessed.

I do not consider myself a “VICTIM” in this situation, but instead a “VICTOR” because I learned the truth, despite how painful it was, and I got away before things could get any worse. The take home lesson in all of this is to always stay vigilant,  question everything, and if the answers aren’t good enough,  question it again…#StayWoke!

Watch and Pray 
Threats to your personal and professional morality and sense of self-worth are always around in every sport, at every age! As a matter of fact in every area of life itself because, not to start preaching,  but we are in a spiritual war (Read Ephesians 6:10-2).

So despite the recent incidents in my life, one thing is certain, and that’s that God has kept his hand on me on this journey. When I think about my bodybuilding journey in particular, I realized so many beautiful aspects about myself that for years I never realized or considered possible. I learned to love myself, embrace my perfectly imperfect frame and developed a undescribable sense of peace and zeal for life that so many people could not understand or even comprehend (Phil.4:7),  not even the person who helped me get back into the sport and eventually betrayed me years later. So credit is owed where is due, to God! For everything I am and still becoming, it was all God’s doing all the time. He created this athlete that stands before you and is still working on, in, and through me!

Situational setbacks can make you lose sight of the ONE who instilled your passion and enjoyment in your most loved activities. For me it was my personal fitness journey and athletic accomplishments.  Throughout my past and present athletic endeavors I learned so many things about myself,  I enjoyed the self improvements that I made in my 3rd decade of life and continue to set my eyes on God for the direction He wants to take this journey in next decade, and the one’s to come, because all the actual work back then and even now was performed by yours truly by the grace and hand of the Almighty God. To Him be the Glory and the Power Forever!

So until next time….on a lighter happier side of life …

~ I AM (still) CANDICE MARIA ~ and this is (still) ~CANDICE MARIA’S  FIT LIFE ~

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Professional Bodybuilding | It’s All Subjective 

Personal Reflections with Candice Maria

 

My personal reflections and views on competition and experiences in competing. One thing people must realize about my sport and the potential of being successful, or “going pro” in this  industry is that it’s all subjective to the opinions of a few people, the panel of judges one person stands in front of, who they are affiliated with, and what influence that affiliation carries.

3rd Place Open Figure - Class C - NPC Vulcan Classic
3rd Place Open Figure – Class C – NPC Vulcan Classic

NANBF Competition Weekend 2015 | Vlog Update

The up’s and down’s of competition life!  Competing is not all glitz and glam, and giggles, it’s rough, especially when you don’t have support or people who truly believe in you enough to be in the midst of the climb with you. This video is very emotional and contains some rough language, sorry not sorry, watch with caution

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2015 NANBF Ms. Natural Alabama State Figure Champion

So yes, I know I’m super late on this blog update. ..lol! However,  it’s a recap of the remainder of my competition season and I must say it’s been a blessed one!

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The journey to the stage for the second round of my 2014 season was a tough one,  but I’m grateful for the people who supported me the entire way!

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The beautiful team at Nancy Taylor Day Spa as usual are always so helpful in those inevitable girly girl finishing touches for the stage.

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Waxing never hurt so good. ..especially when you’re ripped and shredded and clocking in pre competition at 122 pounds and 9% body fat…lol!

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I can’t even begin to say how important a loyal support system is to the process. True friends are hard to find,  and I’m grateful for the people in this pic! Dymen “GrindSeason” Raimer, Atlanta based personal trainer and his client Ms. Carolyn have been my biggest cheerleaders since the beginning of this whole process! My last competition of this year, just about four weeks ago in September, was held in Atlanta and not only did Dymen ensure I had a place to get my final lift session in before the show, but his client Ms. Carolyn came out to watch me do my thing on the stage! So blessed to have them both in my life!

Most importantly the support of my friend and competition coach, IFPA Pro Ryan Davis, was awesome. Extremely grateful having his help to keep me focused and dialing in my macros everyday, as I juggled grad school,  life, work and competition prep, this man helped me create a lean mean muscle machine!

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Until next time. ..Keep a Small Circle ….Winner’s Circle. …

~ I AM CANDICE MARIA ~ #AestheticallyAthletic

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So with any level of success comes the topic most don’t like to talk about…. jealousy,  ignorance, and down right mess.

The spin off for this post will be on “Gym Pet Peeves” & “Gym Etiquette” which I will post eventually…lol,  as well as the prior post entitled “Unapologetic Swagger”

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2014 IFPA/NANBF Global Cup Championship

In life if you aspire to reach beyond the mundane of comfort zones and live more than a mediocre existance you will be tested.

I call this the phenom of having ‘”Devils” among you’! These are the people who inadvertently and even intentionally do the following to your ambitions:

Distract – (verb) “to prevent (someone) from giving full attention to something.”
These are the people who will stop you mid workout with conversations and questions about your life,  what you do, your workout,  etc. Cut them short as before you know it they will talk you out of your next set or your turn on the stair mil.

Comment – (noun) “a verbal or written remark expressing an opinion or reaction.” These come out of the mouths of people who don’t know any better,  especially if they are negative.  The solution is to ignore them and laugh them off as ignorant.

Block –  (verb) “to make the movement or flow in (a passage, pipe, road, etc.) difficult or impossible.” Similar to the distractors, people who behave in this manner at the gym don’t talk, they watch and act. Literally stalk your workout looking for ways to become (noun) “an obstacle to the normal progress or functioning of ‘something’,” with that someone or ‘something’ being you, your workout,  and your progress towards your competition. Keep your eyes open and work the gym floor smart, fool them at their own games!

Criticize – (verb) “indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way.” This may initially seem similar to “comment” but it’s on a whole different level! Someone who criticizes your ambitions issue not just a negative comment,  but one laced in judgement! These are harder to laugh off because they are usually delivered with “a force of,  they’re judgements of you are right and you better do something about it!” Usually issued in a more directive manner than a comment,  however both come from an ignorant mind. So fight the urge to acknowledge it! Examples I’ve experienced were direct criticisms about my body, the pointing out of flaws that I was already fully aware of, with the persistent advocation  of what I needed to do about it. The biggest issue is that, the critical person was neither my competition coach or a judge at any of my shows, and worse not even a competitor themselves. In fact they weren’t even fit!  So their criticism and advice ultimately no merit,  yet they blatantly pounded me with it, on the day before a competition.

So, the above outlines what I have personally experienced on this journey into natural bodybuilding. However,  these same types of people can be found in any ambitious endeavor you pursue in life, whether professionally,  academically,  or athletically.  Keep your eyes and ears open and stay prayed up. Do not be shaken by their ignorance.

Until next time. …#GracefortheJourney #PrayHard…#PrayOften….and #Elevate above the rest!

~ I AM CANDICE MARIA ~

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2014 Global Cup Championship - T-Walk

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Competition Weekend food

So more on last weekend’s competition. My streamlined version of my diet is what you see above. This is what I packed and traveled with for the weekend of the show.

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Novice figure pre - judging

My command from my coach on the day of the show was to wake up early  and eat a small portion of tuna, no carbs, sip some black coffee and very little water then go kill the stage in 3 hours. Needless to say that I did and don’t think for a minute I could just go kick back and eat until the night show that evening! Coach said, pics first then I’ll let you know if you can eat…… outcome “eat something healthy,  but no carbs” so imagine how excited I was about my #albacoretuna that afternoon. ..lol!

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Excited to have my 2nd meal on competition day

The process that got me to the day I stepped on the stage are the foods and meals you will see in the following pics. Not an all inclusive list,  but trust and believe,  to get results you have to be willing to do without. My meals are low carb, low fat, high protein. My fat intake is healthy unsaturated and my carbs are complex… you have to choose to eat differently to be successful! I’m used to it, I prefer these foods over the common alternative because I love how my body feels when I eat clean!

Trust the planning,  Trust the process…#EatClean #TrainDirty!

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That Cashew Mylk - Trust the Process
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That meal prep - Trust the Process
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The Diet - Trust the Process

Stay tuned for Part lll …..

~ I AM CANDICE MARIA ~

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If you’r not following any of my other online platforms,  be sure to follow my instagram @iamcandicemaria for the next 3 months as I will be launching another fitness challenge in July for the City Challenge Race with my fitness program #PlyoWorXFitness!

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Below is a schedule of the activities and featured guest trainers you will be introduced to for the month!

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Complete and post all challenges tagging myself, the sponsor,  and guest trainers in your instagram or Facebook posts for a chance to win a Free race entry to the NYC City Challenge Race!

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What Is A Marathon?

mercedes mascot and me

2014 Mercedes Marathon – February 16, 2014 – Birmingham, AL  – 4:56:18

Two chainz full marathon plus triple peach

1st full marathon 2013

Atlanta Marathon – October 27, 2013 – 5:26:11

Simple question right!? Aside from an activity crazy runners like myself live and breath for, a marathon in it’s simplest form is an accumulation of all other road races combined:

2 – Half Marathons

my 1st 13.1

Atlanta, GA – Georgia Publix Half Marathon – March 17, 2013 – 2:42:41

13.1 number 2

Atlanta Half Marathon – Thanksgiving Day 2013 – 2:16:21

2.6 – 10-Milers

 From my Nike + App: 10.0 MI Total Distance 1:51:27 Total Time 11’06″/MI Avg Pace 1,005 Total Calories

 4.2 – 10K’s

my 1st 10K

Atlanta, GA – AJC Peachtree Road Race 2013 – 1:06:26

8.4  – 5K’s  

my 1st 5K

2007 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure – Birmingham, AL

my 2nd 5K

2009 Jefferson County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Fitness N’ Motion 5K  – Birmingham, AL

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3 – Mile YMCA Fun Run – July 3, 2013

                                                                             13.1 – 2-Mile Fun Runs                                                                                          

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2013 Tuscaloosa Track Club Membership 2-Mile Fun Run – 3rd Place Age Group – 15:27

The beauty of knowing where you are in your short distances is the key to a successful marathon experience. When you hit a mile marker on the race route, instead of daunting on how many more total miles you have left, break it down to each of the increments described above Example, at the start I focus solely on the 1st 5K leg of the race, because I know my average 5K pace, next I shift my focus to the 10K because I also know my average 10K pace, and lastly by the time you hit that point you have just above another 5K left to knock out the first half of the race. Also in initially thinking about that initial 5K stretch of pavement, I also think about my half marathon pace, as I’ve run a few to date, so like my 5K pace and my 10K pace, I know how to pace myself for the first 13.1 miles of the marathon and how long it will typically take me to complete it.

runner number 775 mercedes 2014

All in all, when you break apart your miles in a marathon, it makes it bearable, you can gauge how much time you have left to finish based on how long it typically takes you to complete certain mileage milestones as I prefer to call them! To date due to the races I have completed I have a general idea of my mileage milestones and how long it takes me to reach each one, which helps me estimate when and how hard to push or pull back and pace myself to get to the finish line in the time frame goal I set for myself at the start of a race. So throughout a long race, I remind myself of the following the whole time:

On average I can finish 2 miles in 15 minutes, 5K in 30 minutes, 10K in an hour, and 13.1 miles in 2:15. 

The beauty of my most recent marathon, was the mile marker text alerts. It gives me a track record of how I paced through out the entire race. Essentially, the way I was tracking mileage milestones in my head, the race coordinators were recording them for me in plain text…lol, theirs are all by kilometers, but still serves the same purpose. Here is a synopsis of what they came up with below:

Candice Hubbard crossed the 10K at 8:01:26 am with a time of 00:56:31 and pace of 09:21 min/mile. Est. Finish at 11:09am.

Candice Hubbard crossed the 15K at 8:31:58 am with a time of 01:27:03 and pace of 10:21 min/mile. Est. Finish at 11:29am.

Candice Hubbard crossed the 25K at 9:36:58 am with a time of 02:32:03 and pace of 10:45 min/mile. Est. Finish at 11:36am.

Candice Hubbard crossed the 30K at 10:11:36 am with a time of 03:06:41 and pace of 16:54 min/mile. Est. Finish at 12:45pm.

Candice Hubbard crossed the 35K at 11:10:11 am with a time of 04:05:16 and pace of 11:44 min/mile. Est. Finish at 11:58am.

Candice Hubbard completed the Mercedes-Benz Marathon at 12:01:13 pm with a time of 04:56:18 and 11:19 min/mile avg pace. (UNOFFICIAL)

Until Next Time

~ On the Run ~

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~ I AM Candice Maria ~

TRAINER’S CORNER: Biweekly Update – Scale Back Alabama Edition

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Welcome Scale Back Alabama Participants!

Congrats on taking the initial step towards better health!

Welcome also to my Biweekly Trainer’s Corner  Update;

FUN ACTIVITIES for Scale Back Participants:

Scale Back Alabama Participant Special Personal Training Packages: Invest in the motivation and education you need to transform your body in 10 weeks with a nationally certified personal fitness trainer during your participation period in the Scale Back Alabama program! Good luck to you and your team!

Anytime Fitness McCalla Weigh-In Site ONLY:

10 Weeks – 1 x/ Week $35/Session $175/Month per Participant*

*up to 2 people only can sign up under the same plan with the 2nd person’s plan being discounted 50%*

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FREE Initial Fitness Consultation and Personal Training Session: Anytime Fitness McCalla & Chelsea ONLY:

If you didn’t get a chance at weigh-in to set up your one-time FREE session contact me to get set up this week at Anytime Fitness McCalla. Anytime Fitness Chelsea Scale Back participants should contact any one of our team members at that location for scheduling that appointment.

tracking progress

*Unfortunately at this time, due to some recent changes in facility dynamics, I will not be offering any personal training services at the Tuscaloosa YMCA weigh-in location.

FREE Social Media Coaching & Accountability for ALL Weigh-in Locations:

#TWEETtheBURN for @ScaleBkAlabama

Follow me on Twitter: @IAMCandiceMaria and Follow Scale Back Alabama on Twitter: @ScaleBkAlabama

Each week during your 10 weeks in the contest, Tweet what you did that was healthy and tag me, @IAMCandiceMaria, your local area coordinator and @ScaleBkAlabama in your Tweet with hashtag #TWEETtheBURN

Example: @IAMCandiceMaria, I completed (Fill in Fitness or Nutrition Activity) for @ScaleBkAlabama #TWEETtheBURN

TweettheBurn

 Other Announcements:

“SHARE MY JOURNEY” CONTEST DEADLINE EXTENDED: FEBRUARY 14th 2014

WIN a FREE Month of Personal Training with my Spring 2014 “Share My Journey” Contest. Winners not only receive a FREE Month of Personal Training Sessions with me as I prepare for the NPC & SNBF 2014 Bodybuilding, Figure, Fitness, & Bikini Competition Season, but also winners will be invited to a front row seat to all of my shows during the 2014 Competition Season!  Along with other prizes as well as be featured on my Biweekly Blog Updates as an Ambassador for Wellness!

Will you be 1 of 3 lucky winners in 2014!? Winners will be announced in February, Training begins in March!

Contest available for Anytime Fitness-McCalla location ONLY!

share your journey

Share my journey to the stage and beyond by sharing your story with me so that I can inspire you to chase your dreams in 2014! Submit a video about your story to candicehubbard@gmail.com to be considered eligible.

 share my journey

My Personal Training Location:

Anytime Fitness-McCalla

4955 McAdory School Rd

McCalla, AL 35111

Booking a FREE Fitness Consultation is as simple as contacting me to set up an appointment!

Scale Back Alabama Local Area Coordinator

Candice M. Hubbard, BSN, RN, AFAA

Nationally Certified Personal Trainer and Health Coach

205-239-7794

candicehubbard@gmail.com

www.iamcandicemaria.com and www.scalebackalabama.com

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